Now I feel more than ready to date, and ultimately marry again. The reality is that the only person I’ve had sex with since my wife died is myself, and I haven’t been on any real dates because I don’t meet available women of the right age. Yes, I’ve tried online dating sites — though I hate the idea of anything that artificial and pressured. You hear these statistics about millions of single women, but where are they? Since my wife’s death, social invitations have dwindled, not increased, and they are all from couples who don’t “set me up”, in best Hollywood style. I feel incredibly stuck, and a lonely future looms. Any suggestions?
Nigeria: A ritual by the name of “isiku” that a widow is subjected to upon the death of her husband
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No information on a ritual by the name of “isiku” could be found among the sources consulted by the Research Directorate. However, several sources provide information on rituals that a widow is subjected to upon the death of her husband. These rituals include drinking the water that was used to wash the husband’s corpse, the shaving of the widow’s hair, sleeping on the ground without a blanket for a month and a week, wearing the same garments for a year, sitting on the ground motionless for a specified period of time, eating only with the unwashed left hand, and fasting The News 30 Nov.
The widow’s drinking of the bathing-water of her husband’s corpse is a ceremony of self-exculpation whereby it is believed the widow will die if she was blameworthy for her husband’s death ibid. According to an article in Headway : “To refuse, or to even wretch while imbibing, would be showing complicity or joy in his death” 28 Feb. The practise of these rituals is common to different ethnic groups in Nigeria including peoples in the eastern region of Nigeria, as well as the Yoruba and the Igala ibid.
The Headway article claims that “all plus ethnic groups generally have similar widow rites and customs” 28 Feb. The following information is excerpted from a Country Report on Nigeria from the organization “Empowering Widows in Development”:. Mourning rites differ between ethnic groups.
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